My Po"e"m without the letter E (And reflection)
PO"E"M
Today is a good day for a swim; Sun is glowing with a hint of a
color that I cannot say; Our world is full of constraints;
hardships constant fight for satisfaction. with a
gasp and a grunt, an
old man rot ; from a
bring glory to my
world, faithful warrior - who saw
fight; who put in work for our commmon = E
good. look back on what was lost;
all long hours -
abdication; for
thou is fair
to want contrary things; to unwind; to look at our sun and
think about your past. all things our warrior lost; to go
through joy , is his wish; but our warrior cannot go for his
swim. All this span - control f
"Cannot find 'e'"
COMMENTARY
Limiting my vocabulary while writing turned out to be extremely hard. It required much more thought and time due to the fact that you had to come up with a different word to replace pretty much EVERYTHING. The limitation really ruined the flow of the poem. A word that would have rhymed with the preceding word often had to be replaced with an awkward one. Due to this fact, the poem had a "cap" on how well it could flow. Ignoring that fact, I enjoyed writing my poem and hope other people will like it too!
-Arjun T
Today is a good day for a swim; Sun is glowing with a hint of a
color that I cannot say; Our world is full of constraints;
hardships constant fight for satisfaction. with a
gasp and a grunt, an
old man rot ; from a
bring glory to my
world, faithful warrior - who saw
fight; who put in work for our commmon = E
good. look back on what was lost;
all long hours -
abdication; for
thou is fair
to want contrary things; to unwind; to look at our sun and
think about your past. all things our warrior lost; to go
through joy , is his wish; but our warrior cannot go for his
swim. All this span - control f
"Cannot find 'e'"
COMMENTARY
Limiting my vocabulary while writing turned out to be extremely hard. It required much more thought and time due to the fact that you had to come up with a different word to replace pretty much EVERYTHING. The limitation really ruined the flow of the poem. A word that would have rhymed with the preceding word often had to be replaced with an awkward one. Due to this fact, the poem had a "cap" on how well it could flow. Ignoring that fact, I enjoyed writing my poem and hope other people will like it too!
-Arjun T
Arjun, I know you said that you felt limited in writing the poem but I kind of enjoyed this, no offence, mess. It was hard to read, sometimes didn't make sense, but I think I can also see your frustration in its style. it's quite choppy and sometimes finds a point but then feels as though its lost its train of thought in the middle of a phrase. I really hope this what you were trying to convey because I quite liked it. (If not, I really don't mean to offend you). Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis poem is a little bit confusing -- and rightly so, you couldn't use a letter! Nevertheless, I think I understood the theme that the warrior cannot relax and look at the sun, and that constraint is mirrored by you not being able to describe the sun's color without the letter "e". I think it was quite good in discussing general constraints of life through the constraint you had for this poem.
ReplyDeleteArjun,
ReplyDeleteI liked that you played stylistically with the poem a lot. I think that to help everything flow together, you might want a more indicative title to point the reader in the right direction. At times I'm a little confused about what is happening and what the imagery is. But I really appreciate the different ways that you play with the poem both in content and style!
I enjoyed reading this poem, I think that the choppy way it's written adds to its storyline. To be honest, it reminds me of a videogame, since it ends with a 'control f, cannot find e', the plotline is so sporadic, and it dramatically illustrates challenges we may face in our day to day lives (such as, writing a poem without using the letter e).
ReplyDeleteNice job, Arjun! Your poem turned out well, and the ending is clever. Your commentary is pretty natural-sounding, given your no-"s" constraint. I'm glad you had some fun writing the poem, even though it also involved frustration.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading this poem for a while and I think that the meaning behind this poem is that this warrior who has been working strenuously to protect our country deserves a break. The people back in his homeland won't allow him to have a swim because they have no respect for him and see him as disposable. I'm amazed that you could create such a thoughtful poem without using the letter "e". Great job!
ReplyDelete